If I was independently wealthy, I’m talking “Ricky Schroeder cleans my...– A Glass Half-Full (of Pessimism): I love animals. When people give me that “What are you going to do with your liberal arts?” speech, I always shrug and say I would be useless in any career that made me money because I’d just blow it on college degrees and fluffy animals.
Warm and Fuzzy
In high school cross country we used to do this thing while we were stretching where everyone in the circle would share the best part of her day. I think all I really want in social Internet is that. I want people to come online and tell me what made them happy in the last 24 hours.
It’s not often I come across something I reallyreallyreally want, but I just found one of these in Provincetown and bought it for my best friend’s birthday and OH MY GOD I want one so bad. They’re journals made out of used library books. USED LIBRARY BOOKS -> JOURNALS. They have the covers and then they put random pages in the book mixed in with the blank pages. It’s...
Today a man whistled at me because of my good taste in music. Ugh. What’s next? A guy liking me for my “terrific personality”? Gross.
So today a man whistled at me. Like in a “whoa, hey there, hottie” sort of way. Except that I was fully clothed and in my car, with most of myself obscured from his sight. So I guess it was more of a “whoa, hey there, I really appreciate your Busta Rhymes music and I wanted to communicate this to you effectively from my vehicle to yours.” Sigh.
Please “reply to all” with what you would like to bring.– This is the moment in which I marked my entire family as spam.
Aykroyd and Belushi were scheduled to present the Academy Award for Visual...– Aw. From wikipedia.
10 Things That Make Me Nervous
Being on bad terms with someone Uncooked meat Claymation Food that cannot be torn into bite-sized pieces Large nipples Subways (Er, the restaurant, not the transportation method… really, any sandwich-building arena qualifies) Ambiguous relationships with guys Imagining how I will react if one day I wake up and realize that I’m probably not going to be able to do all the things...
I'm thinking of using it as my resume from now on.
I have a mind like a diamond. I know what’s best. I own a few pairs of shoes that cut and when I’m angry, my eyes burn like cigarettes. I’m pretty sure I have the right allocations. I am fast, thorough, and probably about as sharp as a tack. I play with my jewelry, I put up my hair. I also occasionally tour facilities, and pick up any slack if need be. I am also in posession of...
Because we’re Americans. We take those grenades and we turn them into...– Incidentally, Eddie Izzard. In The Riches.
Because orphan tweets are followed by a long silence, these ephemeral status...– From the same article.
Twitter deez nutz,” remarked beebles, rather caustically, before signing...– “Orphaned Tweets” by Slate. See, some people do get Twitter from the start! It’s a shame (s)he didn’t stick around, beebles seemed to be a natural.
From Useful Hungarian Phrases. Apparently it...
Okay, this is a serious post, everyone. Maple syrup seems like an innocent food item. It graces our pantries and our waffles with a rugged loyalty. Some hardcore lovers will even convince you that maple syrup is a suprisingly satisfying beverage straight from the jar. This is perfectly harmless, albeit somewhat inexplicable—like candy cigarettes. But, please, allow me to warn you: MAPLE...
That line is even funnier in all caps, no?
Me: I JUST FOUND MY ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW SOUNDTRACK
Kelsey: THAT IS REALLY EXCITING
Kelsey: I'M GOING TO SCREAM WITH ANTICA...........PATION
Hey, so I love you, but now that NH legalized gay marriage I think we should see...– My best friend, whom I was going to marry some day since he couldn’t legally marry a dude and since I’m destined to be a spinster. Damn. Anyone else looking for a safety? Sidenote: Aw, yeah, home state!
cleversimon: Stephen Fry: What happens in the Rhubarb Triangle? Johnny Vegas: Do marzipan fighter planes go missing? Do they… do they not pick anything up on the liquorice radar, and then they suddenly start talking nonsense, and Gingerbread Men—good men, who fought in the Pudding Wars—just, just vanished! And the wives are stood there, holding their eyes, going, “This is all they...